Dealing with Divabetics: A friendly guide

Deary me. They say ‘time flies when you’re having fun’, but how about ‘time flies when you have a 9-5 job, a social life to schedule and calories to burn off at the gym’. I can’t actually believe how long it has been since I made my last blog entry.

Don’t go thinking I’ve forgotten about it. Because I haven’t, and have a genuine reason for my lack of posts. Want to hear it? Unfortunately, my new flat doesn’t have an internet connection. No, really, it hasn’t. Unless you count the 1 bar of signal that occasionally props up from the man who rents the flat below me. But I don’t think he would be too happy about me stealing his internet. And I’ve already tried and the connection was rubbish. 

So here I am, with an hour to kill and an internet connection! With 5 full bars which I am perfectly entitled to I might add. Hoorah, this is blog bliss.

Yes, I'm still alive!

So, back to diabetes. That ol’ chesnut. It’s still here. In case you’ve forgotten, diabetes is a long-term disease which isn’t going to have a holiday any time soon. You can read my earlier blog posts and pages to understand more about the disease and how I deal with it.

My last blog post was about when you should (and shouldn’t) tell people you are diabetic. This is a big part of my life right now as I just recently moved to the Big Smoke and started a new career, so I am meeting a lot of new people all the time.

I am dedicating this post to all the non-diabetics out there, who might be unsure how to react to somebody telling them ‘I’m diabetic’. What should your reaction be? Will you have to treat this person differently? Fear not, the answers are all here.

1. It’s OK to ask questions

Whenever I tell people I am diabetic for the first time, I can see a battle play out in their minds. One half of them is curious and wants to ask questions, the other half of them is thinking it would be rude to delve into any details and end the conversation there. Personally, I don’t mind people asking questions, when the timing is right. For example, if I’m busy or having a bit of a crap day, the last thing I want to talk about is the disease that probably put me in this grumpy mood. But, if I’m relaxed and have time on my hands, I could natter about it till the cows came home. So my advice would be this: Use your instinct and common sense to determine whether a diabetic is open to talking about their condition. Ask a couple of general questions to test the water, and judging from the response you get, you will know if it is OK to ask more.

2. Don’t judge

One thing I hate, I mean REALLY HATE (take notes people) is when people tell me what I should and shouldn’t be eating. There is nothing worse when somebody I hardly know eyes up my chocolate brownie and says ‘Are you sure you should be eating that if you’re diabetic?’. Yes, of course I’m bloody sure or I wouldn’t be eating it. I’m the diabetic here not you, so let me be and trust that I can make these decisions for myself.

3. Be supportive

Being diabetic isn’t easy, and it’s really important that we have a close network of friends and family to support us through the down days. There have been times when my diabetes has stopped me from going on a night out, or on a shopping trip. If my blood sugars have been playing up and I’m feeling the after-effects, the last thing I want to do is go out drinking or on a full day shopping bender. If we cancel plans at the last minute, I always feel better knowing that my friends or work colleagues understand that it isn’t me; it’s diabetes making the rules that day.

In a perfect world, diabetics would like to think that they are not treated differently to people with a perfectly working pancreas. But in reality, it actually makes relationships easier when people you know are aware of your diabetes, and how they should respond to it. So the next time your daughter, or your friend, or your work colleague has to cancel plans last minute after a diabetes nightmare, remember that they are entitled to comfort eat with cake. 

Something to declare

First off, I'm sorry.

It has been a while since my last post, and whilst I never ever forget about my diabetes, my blog has been neglected over the last couple of weeks. This is due to a recent move to the Big Smoke, and I'm still in the process of finding my feet and settling into my new life.

View from the office...

My new job and move has inspired this particular blog post. I have met a lot of new people in the last fortnight, and at some point the little voice inside my head pipes up, 'Should you tell them you are diabetic?'.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed by my diabetes or my insulin pump by any means. I welcome any opportunity to get out my new toy and show it off to anyone who is foolish enough to ask questions. But it is always a little awkward and daunting bringing it up with new people.

So, when should you tell people you are diabetic?

• If you are working with them

It's always a good idea to tell employers and colleagues that there is a legitimate excuse for the four bottles of lucozade labelled 'Don't touch!' on your desk. You aren't greedy, you are diabetic and cautious. They should know what to do if anything goes wrong, and who to contact.

Hands off. Photo from here

• If you live with them

In my 'dream world', I share a penthouse suite with my best friends who understand my diabetes better than I do, and know what to do or what I need if I go hypo(low blood sugar) or hyper(high blood sugar). In reality, I live in a pokey little flat with strangers, who know nothing about diabetes and thinking going 'hyper' is something kids do when they drink five bottles of coke simultaneously. These people live with you, they should know! And pop their head round your door if they haven't heard from you in a couple of days. That's important.

• If you like them

In my experience, people don't run away when I tell them I am diabetic. Not often anyway. If you meet someone who you think is 'boyfriend/girlfriend' material, or a group of people who have potential to be long-term friends, then tell them! Diabetes is a part of your life, like it or not, and opening up will help them to understand you better.

So in what cases shouldn't you tell people you are diabetic?

• When you are drunk

On one very rare evening when I was feeling particularly intoxicated, I told security bouncers outside a nightclub I was diabetic, in hope that it would change their minds about letting me into the club. For some absurd reason, they thought that me falling over onto their feet, was proof that I was 'too drunk' to even think about coming in. I proceeded to tell the bouncers that I wasn't drunk, I was diabetic.



"Do I look like I care about your blood sugars?" Photo from here



Surprisingly, this didn't work. Neither did slurring 'You are being diabetic-ist!!!' (discrimination towards diabetics). The moral of this story is, don't tell people you are diabetic when you are drunk. People don't care, and you don't make sense. At this point, alarm bells should be ringing and you should promptly return home, hanging your head in shame.

• At a job interview

There is no need to tell people about your condition at an interview. It's only relevant to tell employers once you actually have the job and you will be working with them. Whilst it is illegal for companies to discriminate against people with any disability, it still happens. Sad, but true.

So now you have my take on when diabetes should be kept under wraps, and when it should be shouted from the rooftops (not literally).

My next blog post, which I promise will be very soon, will be a take on how to react to this information, as a non-diabetic.

Stay tuned, and keep reading.